Ask Slender Woman

jeffreplies:

slender-woman:

jeffreplies:

slender-woman:

She laughed, interested in this young man. He seemed to not understand what danger he was still in.

“You may refer to me as Slenderwoman. I eat your kind, and have for many, many years. You are trespassing in my home, as many of your idiot race have done. None of them are living, though I have learned much from them, as well have kept myself in prime condition.” Her fingers twitched in anticipation, her stomach reminding her of the meal she was currently conversing with.

“Slenderwoman? Well, that’s a pretty impersonal name. Most slenderbeings I’ve met just went by a nickname or something like that - ‘Sis’ or ‘Eli’ or ‘John’. Don’t you have anything like that?” Although he hadn’t grown completely confident around the woman, he knew that displaying fear or weakness would be an immediate invitation to being mauled. The best he could do right now was to try and set back that for as long as he could.

“Well, that explains why no other explorers had come out of these tunnels. I just assumed they must’ve been really easy to get lost in… A pretty stupid assumption, considering what I know. Still, it seems that it would be hard to sustain yourself just from the people coming into the tunnels. Not a many know about these place… right?”

She sighed, a deep sound that was almost a groan. “Some call me Shannon. Is that more to your liking?” At that moment, she wished she had an eyebrow to raise. For her future dinner, he was quite pushy.

“Many know about it because many people they know have disappeared. I can tell you now, there is one other person in these tunnels, who I intend to eat after you. So please, do take your time.”

Alright, this was getting him nowhere.

The slenderwoman was clearly not in the mood to make friends, which only made things all that harder to Jeff. All he could do right now was try to please her and pray it would work.

Not that praying had ever worked before.

“Shannon. That’s a nice name, I’ll remember it. Look, what I’m trying to say is…” He stopped for a minute, seizing his situation and trying to think of the right words “… Well, I’ve gotten around. I know a lot of things, probably have more experience than your average human being. And now you have me here, completely at your mercy: Just eating me could be considered a bit of a waste, don’t you think?”

Okay, this seemed to be going somewhere.

“Consider it an investment: Give me a task, a victim or a target and tell me what you want me to do. Let’s call it ‘temporary proxydom’. What do you think?”

“Food is never a waste, Mr. Killer. However, proxies are. They are stupid, they get caught, and they always taste horrible.” She stood to her full height, turning away from him.

“But, you do seem able to hold your own… So I will take you up on your offer. Come, now. And please, don’t try to get away. It will just get messy.”

send me ‘have you evers’ and i will reply with yes or no

qweety:

mechanicbird:

I think it’s time for an AUCTION!

These are original NAT-2 Transformers shoes, new and factory sealed!
This is a rare collector’s item you might want to have before it’s gone. Since I don’t collect the stuff you can have it; [BAM]!

More about the product:


Type: MEGATRON
Size: EUR 39, UK 6, US 8.5
The set contains: 

  • a pair of slipper sneakers
  • three pairs of uppers in different heights
  • second pair of differently coloured long laces
  • unique reusable box

“There are two hero versions matching to the good autobot characters BUMBLEBEE and OPTIMUS PRIME as well as a model fully dedicated to superbad guy and decepticon boss MEGATRON. Each style is pimped with TRANSFORMERS logos, lining and matching colourways according to the movie character. On the high upper even the characters silhouette is printed. 

Every pair/set comes in a limited, transparent and re-useable collectors suitcase-box and contains a pair of slipper sneakers, three pairs of uppers in different heights and second pair of different coloured and long laces. Just like the TRANSFORMERS cars transform into robots, the nat-2 sneakers transform, through easily putting or changing the uppers within seconds, from slippers to low-cut, mid and high cut sneakers. In addition, all uppers can even be flapped and worn in different ways.

Once the owner was able to hunt for a second pair of the same size she or he can create his own individual and unique style throught interchanging and using the countless possibilities of the different coloured parts. The nat-2 Stack 4 in 1 is an instant classic, already in museums (Essen, Singapore), having won the Red Dot Design Award and as well got nominated for the Federal Design Award of Germany.”
 
Auction ends on June 2nd, 21:11pm MESZ.
 
HAPPY BIDDING!

oooooooo

je me suis masturber!
Anonymous

Omelette du fromage

jeffreplies:

slender-woman:

She laughed, interested in this young man. He seemed to not understand what danger he was still in.

“You may refer to me as Slenderwoman. I eat your kind, and have for many, many years. You are trespassing in my home, as many of your idiot race have done. None of them are living, though I have learned much from them, as well have kept myself in prime condition.” Her fingers twitched in anticipation, her stomach reminding her of the meal she was currently conversing with.

“Slenderwoman? Well, that’s a pretty impersonal name. Most slenderbeings I’ve met just went by a nickname or something like that - ‘Sis’ or ‘Eli’ or ‘John’. Don’t you have anything like that?” Although he hadn’t grown completely confident around the woman, he knew that displaying fear or weakness would be an immediate invitation to being mauled. The best he could do right now was to try and set back that for as long as he could.

“Well, that explains why no other explorers had come out of these tunnels. I just assumed they must’ve been really easy to get lost in… A pretty stupid assumption, considering what I know. Still, it seems that it would be hard to sustain yourself just from the people coming into the tunnels. Not a many know about these place… right?”

She sighed, a deep sound that was almost a groan. “Some call me Shannon. Is that more to your liking?” At that moment, she wished she had an eyebrow to raise. For her future dinner, he was quite pushy.

“Many know about it because many people they know have disappeared. I can tell you now, there is one other person in these tunnels, who I intend to eat after you. So please, do take your time.”

audreyii-fic:

padalacki:

padalacki:

padalacki:

if you wanna be my lover, you gotta watch doctor who

you also should watch sherlock

supernatural toooo-oooo

image

hetaliagirl104:

swagito-komaeda:

i did it. i finally defined tumblr dot com

This needs more notes.

hetaliagirl104:

swagito-komaeda:

i did it. i finally defined tumblr dot com

This needs more notes.

jeffreplies:

slender-woman:

jeffreplies:

slender-woman:

jeffreplies:

He smirked a bit, showing confidence for the first time since he had started talking to her.

“Ah, you really have no idea. I’ve met your kind before, a lot of them. I’m actually alive thanks to one of yours. It’s kind of a long story. Maybe I’ll get to tell you later, if you don’t rip me to pieces…?”

Jeff was really just trying to pull whatever he could in order to keep the slenderwoman from eating him. She looked a bit more reluctant now. Maybe he was getting somewhere?

A strong sniffing sound came from her, her face moving down to his neck. 

“I do not know If I should believe you… You stories sound truthful… But then, I do not care. You smell quite delicious and I really wouldn’t mind ‘tearing you to pieces’ at the moment.” She leaned back up, the top of her head almost grazing the tunnel. 

“I will give you a chance, seeing that you have not stooped down to crying a groveling or offering me sexual favors.”

“Ah… Sexual favors? How would that be even possible? Sex with a slenderbeing would probably kill - you know what? Nevermind. I don’t think I want to know.”

Jeff bowed before the slenderwoman. An exaggerated, overacted bow, but a display of respect, nonetheless. Although he loathed the thought of submitting to anyone else, he recognized how delicate his situation was and the low chances of survival. He’d have to resign himself to a bit of humiliation for now. At least until he had a chance to contact some reinforcements.

“My name is Jeffrey, but you may know me as Jeff the killer” he said, slowly getting back to his regular posture. “Assassin, explorer, mercenary - at your service.”

She stayed quiet, internally rolling her eyes. Her patience was beginning to waver.

“Please just continue and stop with for the formalities. I understand what you are. I’ve heard of you before.”

If the woman was expecting him to shut up with that, she had failed miserably: If anything, her words only fed Jeff’s already inflated ego. The killer’s smile broadened even more than usual, allowing her to see two rows of yellow-ish, knife-sharp teeth.

“I see my reputation precedes me. Popularity does have some perks, I suppose…” He sounded giddy, almost too happy about a murderous beast being able to identify him by name. Almost. “Ah, but enough about me. What about you? Who am I serving today?”

She laughed, interested in this young man. He seemed to not understand what danger he was still in.

“You may refer to me as Slenderwoman. I eat your kind, and have for many, many years. You are trespassing in my home, as many of your idiot race have done. None of them are living, though I have learned much from them, as well have kept myself in prime condition.” Her fingers twitched in anticipation, her stomach reminding her of the meal she was currently conversing with.

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

zerefthekillingmage:

myswagisnice:

I love my mom.

image

I am risking nothing

I know this is fake, but I just can’t risk it.. 

MUSIC ASKS these are actually really fucking hard for me but why not.
1: A song you like with a color in the title
2: A song you like with a number in the title
3: A song that reminds you of summertime
4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about
5: A song that needs to be played LOUD
6: A song that makes you want to dance
7: A song to drive to
8: A song about drugs or alcohol
9: A song that makes you happy
10: A song that makes you sad
11: A song that you never get tired of
12: A song from your preteen years
13: One of your favorite 80’s songs
14: A song that you would love played at your wedding
15: A song that is a cover by another artist
16: One of your favorite classical songs
17: A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke
18: A song from the year that you were born
19: A song that makes you think about life
20: A song that has many meanings to you
21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title
22: A song that moves you forward
23: A song that you think everybody should listen to
24: A song by a band you wish were still together
25: A song by an artist no longer living
26: A song that makes you want to fall in love
27: A song that breaks your heart
28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love
29: A song that you remember from your childhood
30: A song that reminds you of yourself

merdanesbatcave:

It’s that time again. Leave me some asks to come home to this afternoon!

cassietotallyjust:

And I’m back with another super lame giveaway because im home alone and super bored!!!

How its gonna roll:

-Winner will be chosen June 2nd

-Winner will get like 5 pounds of random candy. At least. Idk what 5lbs of candy looks like. You’ll get at least 5 though. Chocolate, gummies, pops, whatever! Winner will need to let me know if they have any allergies!

-ill ship wherever in the US

-Have your ask box open, and make sure to ask your parents if it’s okay to get candy from a stranger on the internet if you’re under 18

- dont have to follow me, but if you do l’ll love you forever and send you a cool picture of a dragon

okay i think thats it

message me if you have any questions mk uwu

diswickedtonguesays:

yep, Mads Mikkelsen

the best fucking vine video ever

Some fancy about me thing:

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Marissa
- Eye Color: Dark brown
- Hair Style/Color: short blackness
- Height: 5’9
- Clothing style: whatever the fuck is clean
- Best physical feature: my tits or my figure I guess.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: dying alone
- Your guilty pleasure: eating everything in my house
- Ambitions for the future: being able to travel somewhere at least once a month

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: fuck
- What you think about most: sex
- What you think about before bed: I did nothing productive and I still have homework
- You think your best quality is: i’m really easy to get along with and I bake cookies and cakes all the time.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

- Single or group dates:dunno
- To be loved or respected: loved
- Beauty or brains: brains
- Dogs or cats: all of the animals. (‘cept spiders)

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: Yep
- Believe in yourself: nooooo
- Believe in love: yeah
- Want someone: Mhmmm

LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Yeah. Have a solo soon.
- Done drugs: noooooooo
- Changed who you were to fit in: yeah

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

- Favorite color: Any shade or red, green, or black.
- Favorite animal: Sloths
- Favorite movie: Silence of the Lambs.
- Favorite game: Um… Tag.

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

- Day your next birthday will be: a Thursday.
- How old will you be: 18
- Age you lost your virginity: Ahem.
- Does age matter: Somewhat.

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL Person
- Best personality: What.
- Best eye color: Whatever color you want, man.
- Best hair color: Any color bruh.
- Best thing to do with a partner: Fuck. Do fun stuff!

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: food
- I feel: tired as hell
- I hide: my true feelings
- I miss: my bitches
- I wish: I wasn’t suck a horrible person